i feel like the prodigal son of the tasp blogger.

how is everyone!? i have been having such a grand time this past month and a half or so. i'm trying to start balancing that good time with more communication with you all. I know I can't be the only one who has experienced this evil phenomenon: you put off communicating with someone with whom you haven't spoken in what seems like eaons becasue you have so much to say and not enough time to say it but then the 'stuff to say' pile becomes so overwhelming that you never will be able to say it all ... or so you think until you finally try one day and feel oh so good. that's me right now, even though i haven't really said anything yet.

so here it goes (the personal stuff .. because i've decided that a livejournal just isn't for me .. after what i consider a rather unfair trial consisting of two entries .. but i've made my decision .. so if you don't really want to hear it, skip the next three paragraphs or so)

on my birthday, 16 january, this year, after an extraordinarily uneventful, unfulfilling day, with teary eyes, i decided it was time to close a certain chapter in my life. and just like that i did. (some of you may be able to peel the vagueness off of that statement and actually get what's going on .. it's not that i don't want to explain in full detail, it's that i feel as if i can't and therefore .. well, just don't want to, lol).

so as i said, i did it, and a half-month later i met an incredible someone. unfortunately, my parents don't think they are so 'incredible', or better said, they don't think we are so 'incredible', ie. that they are so incredible as to be 'worthy' of their son .. mainly because of his gender. so i thought of moving out. but a pesar de the horrible consequences of that (financially, school-wise, and, most importantly, family-wise) i decided against it. instead i am engaging in a secret relationship which is just all the funner.

happily enough, it seems like forever since i last had contact with any of you, even though it hasn't been THAT long. i say 'happily enough' because even though it has only been a month or so it feels as if it has been four months which means it feels like i've had that many good times since any of you last heard from me. needless to say, i'm really happy at this point in my life and am heretofore doubtless of ever being in an unlikewise disposition (even though i realise that that is highly unlikely).

(on 'saving the world')

i'm very (very) much in alignment with tina's response which makes me feel like i am about to give a cop-out response despite the fact that i really (really) don't want to.

(read or reread Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. right now, i feel like it shouldn't be called siddhartha but 'how to save the world', but i may or may not feel that way an hour from now.)

however .. just because the line between right and wrong is blurry and just because the world would be all wrong if it were 'all right' doesn't mean that there should be no attempt at making the world a better place. no attempt means no hope and hope is perhaps the one thing that is keeping (and always has kept) this world alive, because from it stems love, justice, faith, courage, etc. [when i say this, i'm not referring to the natural world but the social envionment that we have created since the rise of 'civilisation']

that's why i believe that the best, most rampant, most long-lived changes come in the form of grassroots. find a cause. believe in it. inspire someone with your zeal for that cause, doing so you will have ensure the perpetual consideration of your cause and therefore the betterment of the world that you belive will come with its enactment.

but, if you want to know the 100 percent guanantied way to save the world: it is to live. some of the most disastrous storms are caused by tiny waves off the west coast of Africa. the cup of water you drank today has a million drops, each one has been to London, to Pondicherry, to Siberia, to the Yucatan. just the same, up to right now, up to this very instant, you have affected so many people: especially you all, with your tasper minds.
you have affected the natural world OH SO MUCH, especially being a consumer in the US and therefore have affected the environs of other people which in turn affect theyr situations and dispositions, they in turn affect the situations and dispositions of others while affecting they environs which do the same. what i'm saying is that we are all connected: you can't do anything without a borther or sister feeling it.

just by livingthe way we live, by talking the way we talk, by believing what we believe, by doing what we do, we are guarantied to change someone for the better (so long as we are doing good). and in turn, they will learn and do the same for someone else. and so on.

the quest, therefore, lies not in changing the world, but in finding out what exactly it means to 'do good' so that you can change the world. the quest, therefore, lies not in saving the world, but in finding out what it is to be saved.

just my two cents.

i love you guys (for-izzle-ever)

.christopher.a.rodriguez.

This is pretty depressing

Cornell Daily Sun: While You Were OD'd on Egg Nog: "Stella's did construction. Stella's looks the same. Eat Dessert First is closing."

Emphasis added.

So much for getting a rush of TASP nostalgia come August when I head off to Cornell.

Ole Olestra!

Ole Olestra!

This page almost killed me, I swear. My abs still hurt.

hannah or janice, what's up with the south korean government?

Brandon Jumps in Late Once Again

I just got around to reading Eddie's post about the Spanish malapropism caused by somebody trying to talk about girls flirting. I've got a good one, too. One time, during a discussion in a 2nd-year Spanish class about clothes, a girl holds up a picture and said " Esta falda es muy de mota". She meant "Esta falda es muy de moda" or 'This skirt is very in style (literally of fasion)'. 'Moda' is 'fasion' or 'style'; 'mota' is a slang term for marijuana. The best part... The picture was of a grass skirt.

Also, just because I couldn't let the drug talk die, I pronounced a Spanish word meaning 'bargain', 'ganga', as if it were the Jamaican word of the same spelling that means marijuana.

When we went to a local elementary school to teach 5th graders a few Spanish words we had to teach 'los animales'. On my list was 'el cabron' ('billy goat'-almost always really means 'bastard'), 'la puerca' ('sow'- also 'whore'), and 'el conejo' ('rabbit'- usually means 'faggot') You can imagine, the Spanish teacher wasn't thrilled.

strawberries for my calculator

blame keegan for starting a trend with random titles...

i just watched a french movie titled germinal (based on the book by emile zola). it's a story of french mine workers who fight against exploitation during a time when worker’s rights are nonexistent (mid 19th century). the main characters are the maheu family and etienne lantier, who leads the workers to strike against the company. ultimately, one daughter in the maheu family starves to death while the other dies in the mine, the father is shot straight through the heart during a protest, and the son is killed in a mine explosion. in the end, the mother, along with the other workers, returns to work to support the rest of her family. the strike brings about the deaths of many workers but no other changes. the owners refuse to raise the wages, insisting that higher wages will bankrupt the company.

after watching the movie, i felt the utter hopelessness. either way, the workers lose: if they don't strike, the owners of the mine will never voluntarily improve working conditions; if they do strike, they run the risk of losing their jobs entirely- during the strike, other mines still in operation threaten to squeeze their mine out of business. furthermore, belgian workers were hired to replace the workers on strike, and the french army was called in to protect the replacements. it seemed like the workers would never win.

yet, they did. in 1884, the Waldack-Rousseau Act legalized workers' unions and slowly, working conditions improved. although they were at a severe disadvantage, the workers triumphed in the end. the word "germinal" comes from the word "germe," which means "seed" in french. zola's book describes the initial fight for rights, when the seed of revolution and of changing one's present circumstances took root in the hearts of the people, to whom the very act of questioning their lot in life was revolutionary.

in history, the french working-class was not the only underdog to win an uphill battle. the colonists in the american revolution, the african-americans in the civil rights movement... these were all seemingly impossible triumphs of the weak over the strong. the vision and determination of the fighters surmounted the insurmountable obstacles. just as the seed requires attentive care before the sprout can push its head out of the soil and stand upright, so does any change require a clear goal and a willingness and determination to win what cannot be won. if we are to improve the world, we cannot let the sheer amount of wrongs prevent us from pursuing, step by step, what is right. there are people who say that one person, two people, or even thirty-two people cannot change anything. but if it doesn't start with one person, two people, thirty-two people, then it won't start anywhere.

Hey everyone. Sorry I have been lurking. I am now caught up on reading livejournal and the blog (after not reading either for several weeks). Here are my thoughts:
On saving the world--
Elise, thanks for posing the question, for mobilizing us all. When I read your initial post, I was excited by it, motivated by a sense of urgency, a result of the truth that we have so much potential if we unite. Alex, your reply was beautiful and very true. Elise, I think your response was apt--and the way you said it helped me with a conflict in my head--the way to balance living my own life and doing something about the things I am responsible for that are so tempting to ignore. Sid, I liked your response too--it seems very humble and mature and powerful. Good for you. I think something we need to beware of is allowing ourselves to philosophize the question of how to save the world away. Yes, it is naive. Yes, things aren't simple, and there is no real line between good and evil. And yet just realizing these things and resigning ourselves to doing what seems right to us in small ways around us is not the answer. Maybe the important thing is to do something big, whatever it is, just so long as it doesn't involve mass genocide or something equally clearly horrible. Maybe in order to work together to do something big, we will have to compromise. What's the chance that you will ever find many people who are exactly like you, who agree exactly upon what the right thing is? So will you cede your ambition because you will not be able to complete it to the letter? Compromise! Work together. Don't give up. You don't have to be sure of what's right in order to do something that seems OK. If we were immortal, maybe we could take the time to discover the exact right path. But we are mortal, and youth is very mortal, as Keegan and Tina pointed out, and we don't have much time. Decisiveness is of the essence.
So what do I suggest? First, I suggest that we stick together. That we keep in touch, and embrace each other. That we don't fragment over our differences, large or small. Second, I suggest that we continue to educate each other, by recommending books, art, music, by sharing and discussing political opinions without alienating each other. Together we can digest a lot more material than apart. Third, I suggest that we do things, any things, together, to prove that we still can. Have a reunion. Keep each other to draw on when we need lots of people power for ideas or big projects. Maybe some summer during college we can all volunteer together oversees somewhere--or on the Student Conservation Corps for national parks right here. All read a book together. Make pledges and help each other fulfill them--like, "I pledge to tell someone I have been angry with that I love him or her within the next week." or "I pledge to say hi to three people at school I don't know very well every day this week." or "I pledge to do my part around the house all week." or "I pledge to write or call a TASPer whom I haven't been in contact with since TASP this week." or "I pledge to stop procrastinating and do something creative, something that really taps my brilliance, this week." What do you guys think?
On reunions:
--NYC in mid-August would be good--right before Cornell starts.
On Elise:
--ELISE YOU READ MY MIND!!!!! I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ASKING YOU TO COME VISIT, KNOWING YOU MIGHT BE FREE. I'd love to see you. Please, let's talk more. And anyone else who would like to visit, oh, please do.
On personal news:
--I'm going to Mexico for spring break to help build houses. Maybe that will help change the world in a small way. The big thing for me was getting up the nerve to ask my parents--I think I'm getting more assertive about what I want to do, more true to myself--and becoming more useful because what I love to do is what I do best. Also, I'm busy planning my senior recital, May 15, which should be really fun. And I've been working very hard to organize my life, to figure out a sustainable daily schedule that includes homework, neatness, and helping my mom. Tomorrow I turn 17. What R-rated movie should I rent? Oh, and have people seen the Passion and what do they think? (I haven't, not sure if I will.) But don't let this question distract you from the save the world one!
Love.

good points, tina. we can't assume that we know how to do things better than anyone else, and "saving the world" is kind of a naive, impossible, and perhaps undesirable concept. ok, i am retiring the "save the world" thing as arrogant/unrealistic/mal-conceived and changing it to how do we "help people or at least do something remotely positive with our lives, in a very well-thought-out and non-imperialistic way."

i think that looking on a smaller scale, things make sense, though- it is reasonably clear that one thing is right and another wrong, and you have to do something right. like, i don't know, some kid in your town wants to learn to read but they're in a shitty school, so you tutor them. that is a pretty obviously right thing to do.

and i guess as you get on a larger and larger scale, affecting people who are farther removed from you, things get more complicated and lines between right and wrong get more and more blurred, and it's much easier to do something that is well-intentioned but stupid. so how do you draw the line?

whistle down the wind

Don't know why I wrote that title...

Tina, I found your post to be excellent, both in the way it was written and in the overall message. Truly intriguing, and with a great deal of good points, although undoubtedly many would view it as somewhat fatalistic. Soccer has started...my last sport of my last year in highschool. My sport. I hope I can find time at Cornell for a sport, although it may be very difficult to balance with the House, NROTC, and college itself. Sigh, I really hope I can though. I'll either be playing Soccer or Rugby, or both, if the seasons are spread. Sadly, those will be my last opportunities for a while to play soccer, because it's not that big in the Navy, especially on board ships. However, Rugby is, so that may be my "service sport". So yeah, at the moment, my main goals are to slow down my remaining time here as long as possible. Savour every practice and game, cruise the bars, ports, and shorelines on weekends that we have home games for, hang out with my friends as much as possible, and talk, talk, talk. Is that sloth? I don't think so. There's a big sign ahead that says END OF YOUTH, and I'm taking every back road I can to delay my arrival. How does everyone else feel about the end of High School? (Although some of you are already de facto graduates)

PS: Any one heard from Seyrum?

wheeeeeeee

reunion in NYC would take quite a bit of coordination, but i'm in if i can gather the proper funds.
on saving the world -- what makes us think it needs to be saved, and who are we to think we can save it? i must appear horribly uninspired. but infallibility and idealism is a function of youth, i've been told. i personally do not think anything is purely black or white, purely good or evil, and without people to destroy the world, how could it be possible for others save it? by trying to "save" the world isn't one already on the path to futility, for once the world is really saved (if you can define that term at all) there would be no evil and thus also no good to contrast it with. whatever government you have, there is no purity of form or ideology. communism is not all evil, and neither is democracy. Nor has the US's foreign policy only recently been interventionalist, and people have been trying to warn us against taking responsibility for a large sphere of influence since the Cold War. but picture this: all the crime of the world is eradicated, no homocides, no homeless people, no rich capitalists exploiting the working class. everybody has a house and two cars, everybody is happy. the world is saved, but what kind of existence would that be? someone once told me, the only thing that leads to evil is for good people to do nothing. that must mean i need to take action. but i see fundamental flaws in that statement: am i good? in taking action to save the world, i must assume that my methods are more correct than others, that i am more saved than the world. maybe i am just egocentric and lazy, but i feel more confident in saving myself first than saving the world.
on another note, i wish i could write like some of you. i've lost a lot of my ability to write, for neither am i really incensed nor am i really inspired by anything anymore. i crave the atmosphere of TASP in which my ideas were continually evoked and challenged and led to new ideas. i can only hope for college to shock some of the apathy out of me. and you all, feel free to discuss or attack; the only thing i really can't stand is for none of you to give a response.

-- tina

Woohoo! Reunion!

I wonder when TA is going to plan the big reunion- if we knew, we could coordinate so that ours is close in time and geography and we could go to both. NYC area sounds good to me too.

Also, I have basically the entire month of May off (between the end of college classes and the official high school graduation ceremony), so I'm tentatively thinking about busing myself East and/or Southwest and doing some hardcore Tasper visiting. So if any of you guys are particularly eager for a guest sometime in May and could put me up for a day or two or a week or however long, please let me know and I will joyously try to arrange it so I can come occupy your home.

Love,
Elise

Hellzyea

Most definitly count me in for a reunion. Why not stay over at someone's house for a weekend or something? That would be pretty hot (you guys could use mine). And if worse comes to worst, we can all sleep in my car.

Mnurgle?

Hooray for reunioning! Yeah, NYC sounds like a reasonably good bet. I know that Harvard students are supposed to be on campus on September 11, but I know a lot of other colleges start in August, so maybe August is a good time slot to shoot for?

I need to get a better grasp on how I'm going to save the world. I initially thought of working with children's public television, revitalizing the world of Elmo into something far more progressive and beneficial to the masses, but now I'm really thinking about becoming a doctor. Or a teacher. Or something...

I'll write more when I've gotten more than four hours of sleep the night before : )

And everyone should download "Such Great Heights" by the Postal Service.

Yeah!

Well, definitely on the reunion.

Speaking of international students, has anyone heard from Seyrum?

I declare

thats cool. I respect that sid.

I think that I am going to do mathematics and save the masses by .. eh ... mm.. ? I am almost set with a mission statment of sorts but I need something to finish it off.

In other areas, I finished my custom built reading chair. I like it a lot. It took me the better part of a week but its finished.

Much more importantly, Linda, yes, we are having a reunion. If it is just me and you than okay thats cool too. Everyone else is invited by the way. I think that nyc is a good choice. I am going to school in the area so it is no problem for me. I think most people, if they will come to their senses, will also be in the new england or new york area for college. Greedy college is going to take all of my money so the place needs to be not very far.

question for the masses

okay, maybe it seems crazy of me to be asking this right now, but remember everyone, graduation is only a few months away, so:

Are we going to have a reunion?

My answer is "hell, yes," and my followup questions are Where, When? I'm guessing a big east coast city would be most convenient for most people, but maybe I'm wrong... also I'm thinking about our international people. Does anyone know where they're going to college? because if they're coming here, then maybe right before school started would be a good time to reunite.

I think we should get everyone in on this. I don't want to leave anyone out for any reason. How feasible is this? Where should we have it? Are we all going to pack into one hotel room or what? Should we actually do something during our reunion, or are we going to sit around reminiscing? Or what? Should we continue Elise's save-the-world theme, hold the reunion in DC and have a Lobby-For-The-Cause-of-your-Choice day? Feed the homeless? Clothe the naked? Or just be together? Help! Ideas! Ideas!

sid on saving the world

I used to be an intensely political person, esp. with international affairs -- for a year or two, my dream in life was to be a foreign affars and policy analyst for a think tank like the Brookings Institution or the Center for American Progress (BIG DORK ALERT!), or work at the United Nations, or maybe the State Department.

Then I suddenly got immensely excited by weblogs and memetics and Howard Dean's amazing Internet campaign, and decided that electronic grassroots -- netroots -- was gonna transform politics forever. I wanted to study sociology of information technology.

Then came the Iowa primaries. Yeah.

Now I still follow politics, probably more closely than most people, but I've lost much motivation. I still do some human rights stuff with Amnesty International, and some local LGBTQ stuff with my school's Gay-Straight Alliance.

I've sorta quietly accepted my dad's plan for me to save the world: via the wonders of molecular medicine.

Some context first: my dad is a bit of a thwarted liberal arts college professor (he's got a thing for Asian studies, American history and literature, and various other bits of literary geekery) who's a ghetto doctor working at an NYC public health clinic in the south Bronx, taking care of the people that mainstream American society has forgotten. Those of you from Cornell II: this is the reason why I was so upset at reading that psychotic conspiracy-theory article about how doctors were planning to use the Human Genome Project to foment a new Holocaust against minorities, starting by prescribing drugs to make them sick: I don't know anyone who's worked harder to help people or is more socially progressive than my father; having him essentially called an accessory to mass murder was sickening to me.

He doesn't want me to go into the family business of primary care physician, though (five freakin' generations of docs... oi) -- his argument is that while he can make a difference in the lives of a few thousand people at most, if I help find a vaccine for malaria or cancer or HIV, or find a solution to diabetes, I could save millions of lives.

Mol bio is pretty darn cool, too. It's my major at Cornell at this point.

So that's how I plan on helping save the world a little bit: trying to futz around with the deep secrets of life to save a few lives, I hope.