poetariat visions

hermanos, this is rant....excuse the colliding tangents...

Isa, I wish i could agree to your terms you use to define all TASPers. I want all to know I am nowhere near advanced academically as all or most of you. My grades and tests scores prove I didn't really care too much about school and that many times it bored me. I somehow am excessively mentally fit for this new race though. after spending half of my summer as another exploited Mexican earning what amounts to $4 an hour if you count the traveling to and from work and the expenses involved in this mandatory maneuver. I work 5am to 5pm with many illegal latinos, who like me are numbers in factories, assembling, drilling and nodding to english imperatives. this structure of iownyouandyouworkworksoulbleedwork is beyond annoying and a reason for violence, crime and others ills amnesty international fights in this world. these exist in 'third world' america and in the developing, abundantly-manufacturing world. yes, i spent the summer with aliens, including a novice to this country who hasbeen here a mere 22 days.

i want to own a school one day. one i'd found in a black or latino ghetto, harlem, or the gang-infested east side in LA where courses would delve into life experiences(which many of them already have), i.e. exploitation shit jobs, ex convict teachers, mandatory homeless weeks...etc, somehow construct oppression for students to experience and not merely flip through or sleep on at night (plus sleeping on textbooks just hurts anyways). this school would also be a fine arts academy, a prep school if you will, but with a never seen before demographic. somehow though, at the least, HS kids should be forced to work in factories for minimal pay, to illuminate incentives to avoid dead end 'jobs' (oppressive labor camps). the lower classes need hope and the power of literature, theory, art, and the balancing act of industrial work and forced glimpses of the 'real world' and detrimental affects of the industrial prison complex on lower class minorities will only bring out the fierce light we know any student can produce. this format or supplementary crash life course would also extend to suburbia and any school really. this is a poetariat dream of mine, because i am convinced, that only when a diversity of classes are found under the same oppressive conditions, will they champion for the cause of all when they go on to bushiness, education, politics and what have you.

factory work reminds emphasizes the 'man' in the term man-made. thousands of factories produce your office, your room, your smiles and condoms...and people are struggling to yield these items for your, they give up 12+ hours of their day to create summer orgasms mentioned in the last post, balconies and lipstick stains on coffee mugs, late-game goals and fashionable killing devices, empty luchbags and hundreds of thousands of chess pieces, involatile pawns and their their lazy crystal kings.

i will be a number with a future, in the ivy league of all places! this glory that has been secretly stuffed in my back pocket is absurd to me. Only words like 'undeserved' and 'increasingly shocked' can be used to define the events in the past 14 months of my life. i plan to make the best of it and care a bit more about those test numbers and such that define our academic habits. i am not scared of the rigors or anything, i agree with Isa, that many aspects of life sort themselves out and it is most prudent to seek more influential endeavors.

i hope i have not upset the middle-class. Tosin, you are not brats, but great minds that will each procure miles of wisdom and diffuse them beautifully into the pigment of the human race.

Me, me!

::eagerly raises hand::

I, too, am definitely not psychologically ready for college. Perhaps the material aspects of moving on, such as packing one's life into boxes --for me, it meant packing my life into two compact bags-- or getting used to having a roommate and dorm life in general, will be easier for me because I've spent the last two years of my school life thousands of miles away from home. But I do relate to feeling daunted by the thought of college, by the academic and social aspects of it all.

Many of us, I think, are scared of going from being top-notch students to only one of the crowd. (Or maybe that's just me and my overcompensating ego :) In any case, I've concluded that I (and anyone else who has that fear) must stop valuating myself in comparative terms (i.e., being "the best of such-and-such or the best at such-and-such") and start thinking of my worth in absolute terms (as in, feeling that I can be very good at X or Y, and being proud of that, even if there are several hundred other students who are better at X or Y than I am).

I guess the other common concerns have to do with the new social scene ("fitting in") and with "growing up." I have no thoughts on those issues, and anyway I don't plan on giving them much thought afterwards, largely because I believe that they all get sorted out eventually. Also,I'm afraid that it's almost impossible to talk about "moving on" without sounding horribly didactic and therefore condescending.

Well, I'm sure that what I've said isn't news for you guys, yet I felt like adding something to the discussion. So yes, Alex,you're not alone in feeling unduly confused and,em, cutely frigthened.:)

college AHH!

so who else is completely not prepared for college, raise your hand! OOOH, ME!

that's right, i am not physically or mentally ready for college. intellctually and academically, i am, i think (i hope). and in large part i think that's because of tasp and because of you guys. but overall, i don't feel ready. and i leave in two weeks. aside from the fact that cornell's orientation is absurdly early (starting the 20th), my pre-orientation thing starts on the 15th! i actually have to miss the last week of my job to do it, which is sad, because i'm really enjoying it. and i'm making money!

speaking of pre-orientation, quick question to all you cornell folks -- is anyone else doing POST?

so how are you guys getting psyched up for college? mentally, physically, whateverally...how are you preparing? i have no idea how i'm going to pack up my entire life into boxes and bring it with me to ithaca.

by the way, the college list that tosin sent around is VERY impressive. congrats to call of you.

and what about your friends? i feel like i haven't seen them at all this summer (my friends, that is) and now i have no time left. and i'm so busy during the weekdays with camp and weekends with family and shopping...not to mention that my girlfriend is in israel and not coming back until the 11th. it's all happening too soon, and so fast. there's so much information they're constantly sending me, so my to absorb, and so much to remember. and i can't even focus on it because of camp, which, of course, i love.

well it's all very complicated, i suppose, but i would love and greatly appreciate all of your input and guidance. i love and respect you guys and your opinions, so really, do tell. hopefully i'll see you all in the fall, sometime.

much love

-- alex

College List

Hey Everyone,
I'm in Boston for the DNC. It's crazy-fun. I've gotten to hear my boss Barack Obama speak at the Fleet Center as well as Bill and Hillary Clinton. It's been great. I also met Michael Moore, Ben Afflect, Amarosa, Jerry Springer and Fonsworth Bentley (P.Diddy's Manservant with the umbrella). I've also gotten together with some Harvard people and gotten oriented with the city. A really cool thing is that my mom was quoted in the Washington Post talking about how Barack defines democrats better than anyone out there. Anyways, I'm on the phone with Greg right now and I just got a tasp e-mail about colleges and I wanted to post it so people could see it and make sure it's right. Thanks Tosin for putting it together!
Here it is:
Janice - Stanford
Ashley - Harvard
Sid - Cornell
David - Grinell
Seyram - Reed
Haruko - Yale
Isaias - Harvard
Dustin - Yale
Miriam - Harvard
Rafie - Cornell
Jordan - UPenn
Alex - Cornell
Alina - UMich
Rachel - Carleton
Brendan - Cornell
Hannah - UChicago
Adam - Harvard
Linda - Cornell
Alexis - Harvard
Brandon - ?
Blaen - Harvard
Elise - Yale
Keegan - Cornell
Eddie - Amherst
Chris - UPenn
Krishanu - Stanford
Nikki - Tulane
Tina - Harvard
Rima - Cornell
Nancy - Harvard
Tosin - Williams
Greg - Yale
p.s. Alina I'm not kidding about August. Since I'm offically on vaca (a.k.a i'm not working until school starts because i'm tired) I'm showing up at your door either the second or third weekend.                                                                                                                                                          P.P.s ALl you filmlovers. I highly highly recommend the films Talk to Her and Something about My Mother both by Almodovar

what a long strange trip its been

Okay guys and girls.  It has been a while since I got a chance for a full account of my travels. Here it is.

I have been decently busy these past few months. This has had some benefits.

I graduated high school some time ago. I feel have nothing but unrelenting joy towards this event.

Last June, I got the chance to go to Washington D.C. with the Presidential Scholars Program. Over the course of three days, I felt like a piece of litter as my fellow scholars and I were thrown all over the city in an effort to showcase us to the most number of half-interested people. It was not all bad though. I got this huge medal that, I am confident, could easily kill a man, just to watch him die.

Immediately after Washington D.C., I had to pack for a month at National Youth Summer Camp in West Virginia. This program was comparable to TASP with regards to 1) the number of interesting and diverse people I met 2) the passion and dedication of the staff  and 3) the level of academic stimulation that I received.  As an added bonus, I now think of West Virginia not as a haven for anti-government extremists, hillbillies, and the deranged, but as a beautiful and incredibly rustic wonderland. I also had the chance to go spelunking, caving, hiking, and kayaking. Coincidentally, I nearly killed myself doing all of these, with no exception.

I have been home now for exactly one week. This week has been confining and obscenely boring. My only solace has been almost daily trips to the library, where I have been trying to dig into my enormous summer movie and book list. I also do not intend on sounding like an idiot next year at university, so I have taken to reading the huge and somewhat tiring writings of Emerson, Rawls, and Kant.  I have also been elated/tormented by relationships with the fairer sex these past few months. Maybe I will become a poet, in order to craft words and phrases to better express my love.

It seems like this next month will be, more than anything, an apostrophe. I have the feeling that nothing major will happen. Most likely, it will serve as a transition from high school (=childhood) to college (me not being so ignorant).  I will prepare for college, and make sure that I will do nothing to ruin my chances of happiness and solitude next year.

 Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I hope to be a security guard. I enjoy nighttime, quiet, and a chance to read a bit, all while being paid for it. What can I do to prepare? Perhaps I should get into a fistfight or two, in order to show what type of tough guy I am.  I am sure that a few facial wounds cannot hurt my chances.

Miiiiiggggrrrraaaaaiiiiinnnnneeeee...................

Ouch. Migraines hurt. :( And poetry doesn't like me.

Alina: God-in-sugar-form is the milk-caramel brown fugde-like thing.

Cornell II people (Disclaimer: I'm a walking ad) : Remember "Tribalography of blablahblah", one of the first essays we had to read? In case you don't, the author argued -- without any evidence or any regard for the rules of rhetoric-- that United-Statesian (NOT "American":) democratic tradition arose, not from European enlightenment thinking, but from Native American culture. Undeniably, the essay was crap. The overall argument, on the other hand,  is worth considering, as I found out when reading "Indian Givers" by Jack Weatherford. I shan't ramble on about what the guy says, but in short, he shows that many of the foremost free-thinkers of Europe, e.g. Jean Jacques Rousseau and Karl Marx, found their inspiration in Native American notions on the role of a leader; specifically, men like Bejamin Franklin or Thomas Paine drew from Iroquoi political institutions to shape their vision of a democratic, "free", and federal America.

 I want to recommend reading the book to everyone, for it says eye-opening stuff about the true origins of many  "Western" institutions and technological break-throughs, about the true reasons for the triumph of "THE WEST." Although not entirely academic, it's well-researched and a great read.  Above all, it's history that matters. I'd love to hear what you think of it.

Love,

Isa, the walking ad.

Miriam, the facility where you're working sounds amazing. I hear so much about "cancer research" that it's practically abstract to me now, so I'm glad you can confirm that it does in fact exist. if I could sound like a moron for a minute, what kind of things are people actually doing down there? I definitely didn't know the Bush family was supporting cancer research. everyone has their causes, right? as some of you know, my job this summer is phone fundraising for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, and a surprising number of people have extremely violent reactions to the mention of Jerry Lewis, even in passing, so he and Bush have something in common.

Isa, welcome to the blog! your summer work sounds appropriately groundbreaking and intellectual. I hope you're taking some time to stop and smell your perennial flower of choice.

Alina, I think we all have small nuggets of gold hidden in our gums, and the dentists know this, and have created the elaborate "removal of the wisdom teeth" ritual to rip us off generation after generation. how's your recovery coming? do you have extra prescription medication to sell on the black market?

I think it's too bad that we're always pressured to say time goes by too fast or too slow. my summer is passing just about right, I think, and I'm content with small things like cleaning my room, copying down poems I love, reading Mrs. Dalloway with my cat on my stomach, baking bread, avoiding talking to everyone but the most essential people. all this applies only to weekends, of course.  Kurt Vonnegut says that when things are going well, you must be sure to say, "If this isn't nice, what is?" or else you don't notice. well, if this isn't nice, what is?

many of you already know this poem, I'm sure, but it's beautiful...

The Wind, One Brilliant Day

The wind, one brilliant day, called
to my soul with an odor of jasmine.
 
"In return for the odor of my jasmine,
I'd like all the odor of your roses."
 
"I have no roses; all the flowers
in my garden are dead."
 
"Well then, I'll take the withered petals
and the yellow leaves and the waters of the fountain."
 
The wind left.  And I wept.  And I said to myself:
"What have you done with the garden that was entrusted to you?"
 
--Antonio Machado

I would post more regularly, but Firefox 0.9 broke my BlogThis extension, so posting is a tedious process.

Anyhow, Elise is coming to visit the metro area for awhile come Sunday, as some of you are aware.

preemptive strike

   i am currently too drugged to operate heavy machinery.  why? well simply because our lovely overmedicating society has decided that my wisdom teeth possibly possess weapons of mass orthodontal distruction which they could use to damage the happy teeth living in other regions of my mouth and minding their own business. i may have already complained or posted about this, i really dont remember. 
   plus i felt so violated because they had to knock me out so i was wearing this thing that measured my pulse and they kept asking me if i was nervous.  so i was trying to play it cool but my pulse just kept going up. 
isa: the-god-in-sugar-form brings back memories, i remember eating it and calling it that but i dont remember what it was like. that is rare because i usually have amazing dessert recall.

Argh

Bogotá's too cold to have fun these days. WHINE. But guess what? Greg is coming to visit in August! Whee!
Oh, and if you guys ask me in advance, I might be able to get you coffee o rguava paste or    god-in-sugar-form or cool craft.

Gone Fishing

Sadly,  I must take a leave of absence now.

"My nature is subdued to what it works in, like the dyer's hand."

:)

Alexis, por supuesto. Tengo que darles otras MILES de correcciones (quiero presentarlos a un concurso), pero dentro de ... una semana, cuando estén presentables, te los mando.

Isa

Oh, language exclusion of doom. :P

Request for Isa

Isa, perdona mi espanol porque todavia estoy apreniendo, pero me puedes mandar las poemes tuyas?
Gracias,    Alexis                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Bombos y platillos.

Wow. First post on the blog. Exciting, eh? (Thank you, Eilse :)

Hello, everyone. I hope you all are having great summers. Personally, I've been dodging bullets in downtown Bogotá and clogging up my lungs with the city's lukewarm, stagnant gray air. Oh my, I love the sweet funk of trash heaps.

Colombia is rather lonely and not nearly as cool as I made it sound before without you TASPers. That, and it's going to hell in a handbasket because of stupid neoliberal, intellectually castrated, morally numb, US comprador-, Bush-types in the administration.  

But all in all, however lonely, cold, and bored I might be, I'm making the most out of my summer. I found a  post-doc fellow from the National University who's just dying to get a research assistant, so I'll be researching Panamanian-Colombian fiscal relations in the nineteenth century, and the influence of speculative bubbles on imperialist intervention and the rise of Latin American Nationalism, until the end of the break. Hurrah for learning stuff.

Other than the economic history project, I spend my days lounging around the house, dealing with (er, avoiding) my family . I try to concentrate and read during the fragile, awkward armistices bewtween bouts of rabid yelling at one another (anyone who wants to hear a pathetic and long-winded whine about that, feel free to ask).

Hmm last two things: 1) in case anyone is interested in calling me (why you would want to subject yourselves to that is beyond me) you can have free conversations with CD-quality sound with me through MSN; and 2) Si te gustaría sentir los huesos de Neruda sacudiendose en su tumba, Rafa, avísame y te mando un par de fracasadísimos poemas que escribí ( vergonzosos de veras) y nos burlamos juntos de mis versos. Ay que dolor, que pena.

Hmmm. One would think that I'd have more to say after not hearing from or writing to most of you in ... a year, but one would be wrong, because I'm DULL -- and a shameless ingrate :) 

 
All I can think of saying, therefore, is that I love you all and miss you all,  Yes, I know that I'm a flowery-spoken, full-of-shit rhetoretician, and that the last thing you'd be tempted to do is to take a Colombian crook for his word,  but believe me when I say that those six weeks spent with y'all ( <--- Miriam's evil influence on my speech patterns:), and the continued friendhsip that you have given me, have been tremendously important in forging the person I am now.

 
Whew. As would be expected of me, here is another long-winded (and as of late, cynical and self-indulgent) rant.

Love and abrazotes,

Isa

second person narratives from milwaukee.

you wake up at 4:52 am every morning. fall off the bed landing on the required supplies for the day: rubber gloves, cotton gloves, earplugs, goggles, a flask of gin, cell phone, a couple novels that wont get read anytime soon, keys, wallet, LUNCH. you're set. you start to peddle your bike at 5am to the temp agency pimp named jose jimenez. here Pimp Jimenez gives you 'ticketes' (said in spanglish) for the JNA(temp agency) van. here you join six latinos like you and a built black dude. they all check the early morning 'nenas' (girls) and use adjectives like: stacked, thick, and cute, to describe these 'bitches' and 'nenas'. you speak with the black guy and he talks about his phone line woes, how he lives in a two storey duplex where his calls come in downstairs and vice versa. you say, shit man, that sucks, sbc is a shitty phone company. you are not one of them. they do and have done this shit forever. they are not forced to read kafka over the summer and are not participants of the ivy league, like your pussy ass is. you smile and rub your biceps, exposing the hump of the tricep and yesterday's bruises like a fucking tough guy. you are not a tough guy. you have not lived this but three days. you are tired and sick and aching. their stone grimace is a temporary agent; a partial mark on your clean cubanwhitemexican face. you think about the things you hate when piling tires and wheels from the crate to the washer to the other crate. bus leaves at 5:30am but the tire and wheel factory you work in is in Slinger, an hour from milwaukee's south side. you punch in at 6:30am. you have two fifteen minute breaks, at nine and at noon. you know that noon break feels like some summer orgasm, butterflies digging their way out of snow drafts, like beautiful daughters running up to you in their school uniforms and hugging you and yelling 'primo'!(cousin), like spitting on stalin and calling him a dirty fucking bastard, like falling off a handsome cliff milllions of blue moons from sea level. you are being exploited but you concede because cornell costs loom on the big red horizon and you are more than willing to sacrifice your body for your mind, this time at least. you know lust better now, as a factory lad who passes metal through his hands like some pass sand through their toes. you are on the other side. words like ‘proletariat’ and ‘working class’ are un-popped vivid cherries to you now. you seek your copy on the top of your bed of marx's communist manifesto because you are related to him not only on the pervasive human thread but now through the exploited worker steal chain, you find your soulmight in this work, and you mustn't be phased. you are doing $16/hr work for $8.50/hr and you know your position is better than those earning a tenth of what you earn for twice the work. you are not as exploited as others, remember your loss is temporary, your gain is at the very least a few constellations and a hymnal and at the most a world in a box labeled 'fragile', ‘handle with care’. and you know the latter and former are virtually the same in size but not in sensitivity. you would bullfight taurus if given the chance, you would sport a red celestial wave, a sword sunlit and raw, and sink the starred bull to its eventual abyss. you do not know of these labyrinths as well as you'd like but you manage to speak and climb over walls in effervescent evasion. you punch out at 2:30pm and get back to the worker's brothel at 3:30pm. here you say goodbye to the guys and ride home a greasy and dirty mexican. today, you made 68 dollars before taxes. today you saw men and women in the loud ambiance of that factory, playing with steel, and yielding the throbbing product: wheels. lots of them. you now have given yourself a 10pm bedtime to make the first deadline of the morning, four fifty two ayy emm, sounds like amen.

On saving the world and delightfilling movies.

Delightfilling movies for Linda and for all:
 
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Jim Carrey delivers the performance of his lifetime in a film that makes you forget that he's Jim Carrey. The score is phenomenal, and by the end of the film you more deeply appreciate the importance of living in the moment and the value of life experience. Beautiful.
 
Shrek 2 - Even if you never saw the first one, you will be completely blown away. The animation is unbelievable, the hilarious script will have you falling out of your chair, the characters are lovable, the story is heartwarming without being saccharine, and the fine details are the icing on the cake (in one scene, characters in the background flee hysterically from one "Friarbucks" on the corner to another one right across the street - social commentary, purrhaps?). Take a little cousin or just go with friends. You'll have a great time either way.
 
The Triplets of Belleville - Another animated delight, but this one is hand-drawn in the loveliest way possible. It's French, but there's no significant dialogue (I saw it without subtitles and understood everything). The character design is deliciously quirky, hearkening back and adding on to the legacy left by the idiosyncratic creatures of Disney's 1930s. It's the story of a whistle-blowing and fiercely loving mother in search of her cyclist son, kidnapped during his run in the Tour de France. Along the way she meets the by-now-aged Triplets of Belleville, former vaudeville performers from the early part of the century ("Swinging Belleville Rendezvous!"), who help her in her search in the unlikeliest of ways. A must-see for all.
 
Saving the World:
 
So, as Keegan mentioned, I'm doing my part to help cure cancer at the M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas. I've been totally blown away by this place - it's been ranked as the #1 cancer treatment center in the world for a very good reason, marrying groundbreaking research and clinical work in every type of cancer imaginable. If you get cancer, get yourself to Houston. And part of their mission statement is their need-blind policy - if you have cancer, they will help you no matter how much you can pay. The Bush family has contributed massive amounts of money to the establishment so that they have the means...It's really a phenomenal facility. At first, I didn't try to see beyond how mind-numbing the busywork in my lab can be at times (God knows I whined and bitched a lot at first), but then I walk around the hospital and feel completely overwhelmed by what a phenomenal force for good in the world this place is, by how committed every single one of its employees and volunteers are to eradicating one of the top killers in the world. It's founded pretty much entirely on philanthropy, and it consistently gives me faith in the genuine altruism of so many people. I've been so inspired here...
 
Needless to say, I want to make damn sure that whatever I do saves the world somehow. I've been thinking about trying to work for a child advocacy group, or getting involved in nonprofit children's theater, or getting into children's edutainment, or some combination thereof. So much stuff to do, so much stuff to find out about...I'm so incredibly psyched about going to college. I feel like the important part of my life is about to begin. There are so many choices to make.
 
And now I have to go throw things in a bag, as I am going to be heading back to Houston soon (I've been home for the weekend) - I'll be there until July 31. Hoohah!

quick

new number: (39) 081-811-9495
 
Good delightfilling movies: About a boy & Love Actually.
 
 
Yes I like Hugh Grant.
 
 
 
As an actor.
 
 
 
PS:  Finally got into a fight like I wanted.  But it was with my dog.  I think I won, but only because I pinned him with my knee and leashed him.  He managed to give my left hand some marks to match the right.  Damn he can get angry.  Beautiful poem Rafie.  Neruda's excellent.

my darlings:

1. I am convinced our TASP will be the one to finally save the world. or at least small corners of it, and really, that's all anyone can ask for. Alex, do you already have one of those smoking jackets with patches on the elbows? because if not, we simply must go smoking-jacket-shopping in Ithaca sometime. you can't be a professor without it.

2. here's a question: how important is history? I'm fascinated by it, but is it really necessary? aren't all historians basically propagandists, 1984-style, trying to fix the past to meet what the present wants it to be? this has been inspired by the fact that I'm reading A Short History of Europe because I know nothing about european history. but I love it. but that's so pointless.

3. has anyone heard from Janice or Seyram lately? I want to know how they're doing. TASPers have been good to me lately and I want to return the favor.

4. did you guys know Francis Fukuyama was a tasper?

5. and finally, I need summer movie recommendations. I just watched Amelie for the fifth or sixth time, and it just fills me with delight. what are some more delightfilling movies?

perfecion

"But on the other hand we feel strong enough to beat those teams again. That's our aim. We just want to win every game and at least go unbeaten."
-dennis berkgamp, holland soccer team captain and Arsenal star

i love that, "and at least go unbeaten". well Arsenal went the entire 38-game season unbeaten and Berkamp thinks a flawless record is, at the very least, attainable. I love how anything less than perfection would be 'bleh'. this quote really amounts to the pervasive perfectionist zeal i fall victim to more often than not.

100 years ago from this moment, neruda was a baby pooping and not winning nobel prizes and breasts for him were the main food source and not 'curves of moon'. lets all stop for a second and digs our hands into a deep ' blue Cuban night' and kiss a docile breast or two in honor of the wonderful poet, Pablo Neruda.


Fable of the Mermaid and the Drunks
From: ‘Estravagario’



All those men were there inside,
when she came in totally naked.

They had been drinking: they began to spit.

Newly come from the river, she knew nothing.

She was a mermaid who had lost her way.

The insults flowed down her gleaming flesh.

Obscenities drowned her golden breasts.

Not knowing tears, she did not weep tears.

Not knowing clothes, she did not have clothes.

They blackened her with burnt corks and cigarette stubs,

and rolled around laughing on the tavern floor.

She did not speak because she had no speech.

Her eyes were the colour of distant love,

her twin arms were made of white topaz.

Her lips moved, silent, in a coral light,

and suddenly she went out by that door.

Entering the river she was cleaned,

shining like a white stone in the rain,

and without looking back she swam again

swam towards emptiness, swam towards death.


-pablo neruda

Hmm...

I might see you in the Arabic class, Keegan. What you're describing is very much what I want to do too...I think I like the urban planning thing, too.... Maybe I can do that kind of grassroots and travel for a long time and learn a lot about different kinds of people, and then apply my knowledge by being a politician who really is familiar with the people she represents..... somehow....maybe then I should do the grassroots in America and learn Spanish instead...anyway, I'll probably be on a similar tack. Or track.

urban planning, eh...?

funny you should mention urban planning, keegan. every day i think of a new reason that i want to go into urban planning, and should transfer into the architecture school to take advantage of the fantastic urban planning program there. like the other day i was talking to someone about how obese americans are, and i was talking about how the french are thin, and i think it's becaues they eat fresh food. which got me thinking that i should get involved in urban planning and work to bring community gardens, hydroponics, and even truck farming back into urban areas to bring fresh produce to people who may have never even left the city.

or today, when i was in williamsburg, a neighborhood in brooklyn, to attend an amazing street festival called the dancing of the statues. in this very old sicilian community, a giant tower and a boat are constructed and paraded down the streets by dozens of men carrying these immense floats (with people and instruments blaring aboard) on their shoulders. it's an amazing sight to see, and the streets are jam-packed with italian-americans eating and rejoicing. it's really wonderful. and that got me thinking how important it is to help advance planning in the city to maintain neighborhood character and traditions, and community above all else.

i am thinking about how going into academics might be something that i really want to do. that way, i could teach what i know (which i feel is extremely important) and i could also continue my own learning through research and writing. but i think also that it is very important, especially in a field such as sociology (and all the more so urban planning) to try to apply what you believe and study and teach. so, in short, i'm not sure excatly what i want to do.

oh yeah, i also compose music and play piano. why is life so busy? can't i just do everything?

-- Alex

The future...ohh...ahh

So does anyone know what they think they'll be doing in college or afterwards? As for myself, I'm going to major in some aspect of Urban Planning. Right now I'm thinking about political planning or whatever it's called, insomuch as I would like to help troubled areas revive themselves. As such, I've altered some of my courses, and have decided that Japan doesn't need that kind of assistance. So, I will be minoring in Middle-Eastern Studies, and will learn Arabic. I originally was going to relearn Japanese, but I began to think about the future, and in doing so thought about things we talked about when we were at TASP. Save the world! Isn't that what we always said, indeed, still do say? Well, I thought about how Miriam's helping fight Cancer, and Alina's doing research on new materials (or something like that), and how Alexis is helping put a good strong man into the political arena in order to enact change, and so on and so forth. And we're not even started College yet! My God, I thought, I've been greedy, lazy, and slow to actually reach out and make a difference. So I took note of my friends, and decided that if the Middle East is the current fulcrum, than that is where I'll go. The Navy's dying for Arabic-speakers, and if I finish up with the Navy, as an Urban Planner I can help raise cities that have been in ruins for years. Thanks for pushing me in the right direction.

for the love of one another

Hey guys, recent events have had me thinking, and I just wanted to say that had I not attended TASP, things would be very grim right now. However, TASP provided me with friends to whom I could turn, and as a result, I am happy, optimistic, and emboldened. You have saved far more than you would imagine, and I thank you over and over again for it. Now I know that many of us are in contact still with other TASPers, and that's great. But if anybody feels they need someone to talk to, we're here for you.

here is one of those stupid quiz things where you [in this case i] write questions for your friends [in this case you]. there is a condom question...

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz_IM.php?quizname=040708135012-You~p20don~p27t~p20know~p20me

well, pleasure enhancing condoms have got to be better than normal ones, right?

Harvard now has six taspers, but still loses to Cornell, with an amazing seven taspers attending.

News from Blaen

Hey you guys, i got an email from Blaen. She's all right, enjoying her summer much like the rest of us should be. She's going to Harvard in the fall, and is soooo glad that some of you are going to be there. She says to send her love, and belated congrats to everyone.

Raugh!

Let's run. Run far away, to a partisanless land of plenty, where people who want to die, die, and people who want to live, live. Where we would feast upon vegetables and meat and fruit and dairy products, compliment those who deserve complimenting and insult those who deserve insulting, regardless of political correctness. A place where there are no hidden ghosts. A place where pain fades in time. Yuck yuck yuck. Grrr...it's a fountain of feelings. Or a train wreck. What's wrong with wanting freedom? What's wrong with having it? What's the lure in pretending it's non-existant? I want to follow orders. Am I wrong in my belief that one can be respectful and traditional without being a sheep? Maybe I am. I believe in Chivalry, honor, love. Chivalry is all but dead. Honor is a farcical anecdote told by aging Japanese buisiness men to snot nosed brats. Love is reduced to pleasure enhancing condoms. Hell no. I'm not content with this. There's no way I'm going to conform to liberty. If those ideas are fading away, then I plan to fade with them. Better a ghost with those morals than a healthy human living in the social wreckage of a total moral meltdown.

...

BLEH

A couple different notes & Moore/9-11

One: anyone who can join facebook (www.thefacebook.com) Do IT now!! It's so much fun.

two: beautiful Linda thank you for the welcome. I think the biggest solution right now for the black community is GOOD parenting. Bill Cosby was criticized recently for blaming parents and telling them to have a greater role in the lives of their children. But I completely agree with him. Of course that is not the grand solution but it is one step in the right direction.

three: I met bill Clinton!!! How exciting, I had to check off names for a fundraiser and I got to meet him and talk to him briefly and I got a pic!

four: I'm so excited to be attending the Democratic National convention July 25-8 in Boston. I'm going to be working but I'm thrilled.


Most important: Fahrenheit 9/11,,, I hope most of you have seen it. What are your thoughts??? I saw it twice. The first time It was excellent. The second time I was mad. Mad at the administration, and mad at people like bush who sacrifice the lives of so many for an extra 100million dollars. The anger was inspiring though because I knew I had to do something about this aside from my work on democrat Barack Obama campaign for US senate. So I've decided that as soon as I go to Harvard I'm going to help out with the democratic organization and encourage people to vote and encourage presidential campaign forums on the candidates. And more importantly get as many people as possible to consider Kerry.
Ok, sorry this was a whole bunch of political things in one. I'm usually not so political but I guess it comes with the job!
-Alexis
p.s. i hope i have not offended any republican taspers. seriously

From the shores of the isle of green

Linda, of course it's condescending to participate in programs that help those who are less well off than yourself. I mean, pure gratitude is difficult to obtain, and only slightly more palpable than pure gratuity, which is more mythical than factual. However, this is simply a set back of human nature. I fully support the Peace Corps, and had I been rejected from NROTC, I had planned to volunteer with the Peace Corps. Definitely a worthwhile venture.

I thought it worthwhile to take note of the various referances to human nature we make, such as that above. However, these various "givens" of humanity seldom agree with one another. Some seem to lean towards the evolved animal nature, which holds our primal urges responsible for most action, whereas others tend to associate more with the divine being principle, whereby we are more accountable for our actions. Kind of in that vein, I would have to agree that the main attraction in things such as the fights I've been in stems from primal diversions, although that does not take into account fights for morale beliefs; those are somewhat different, I feel. By the way, is it really the thought that counts?

bienvenue au blog, Alexis!

Keegs, (do people call you Keegs? or is that one of those annoying nicknames? as someone who never had a nickname, I don't get those things) I just watched Fight Club so I feel like now is a good time to answer your question. I've never been in a fight--and frankly physical discomfort is not one of my strong suits--but I like to think that if I were ever in a survival situation, I would rise to the occasion. isn't that awful? sometimes I really hate living in a place and way that never tests me that way. and that's awful too, and ungrateful. Rafie (did you go to that job interview? do you have a gun now?), I think you have a definite point with the real-life fight club thing. our present society, the concept of "civilization," is all about repressing primal urges in favor of other, supposedly higher pursuits, but we're fooling ourselves if we don't think we're still governed by those same instincts.

Alexis (are you ready for college? I forget, do you have siblings?), you made some excellent points about the NBA mindframe that I've seen all over public schools for many years. what do you think is the alternative? some kids pour themselves into sports the way they never would into school. if they feel about education the way I feel about sports--a raw terror, fear of embarassment, the feeling that you're so far behind you'll never catch up--I can understand why it's easy to give up, pursue something else that looks more promising. maybe well-roundedness isn't for everyone? or maybe we all just need to push ourselves in different directions.

Rima (how did your year go? were you able to pursue all that extracurricular stuff you wanted to do?), I may or may not be going to POST. it's kind of complicated right now. as soon as I know, I'll tell you what my travel plans are. how are yours going?

Tosin (are you back with your family now? how are they?), what say we start an ex-TASPer fight club? next time you see me, feel free to punch me in the face.

everyone: I want to do Peace Corps after college. is relief work condescending or what? because I feel like it is, but I also feel like if it helps, does it matter? I'm not sure it's possible to help anyone else for purely unselfish reasons. what do you guys think?

Response to Keegan

Hey keegan and everyone else. Thanks for the welcome. In response to your question about NBA players being drafted from High School. Right now I think what is happening to black men in general is really a shame. All of these statistics are coming out about how they are the largest group unemployed, dropping out of school, and now there's this whole thing with the "Downlow" (seemingly straight and thuggish men with girlfriends who are having sex with men and then passing aids to their girlfriends: check old NY times magazine is you want to read the exclusive). I think that although these African-American players in highschool have great talent, by allowing them to by=pass (or making it seem that is perfectly acceptable) it sets a bad example in many ways. One it says that college does not matter, because if they really wanted to they could encourage players to play in college and then join the NBA. They do take advantage of these kids as well by flashing the money and all the rest of it in their faces, especially when they come from homes where for the most part their parents can't direct them in the right way or they don't know the value of education. And the parents themselves get lured by the money. Bypassing college also gives the millions of other kids who think they are going to be the next kobe or lebraun (sp?) the message that they can just play basketball growing up and they're going to get of the hood the same way as these other guys. The reality is that a select number of people go to the NBA after highschool and most of these kids who think they will be the next kobe, and school doesn't matter, and the nba will take care of them, go nowhere. There is a great short story about all of this, I will have to ask my teacher the name of it, and how these highschool boys are just played by recruiters and they have all these ideas put into their heads and then they're forgotten completely and left to do nothing. And when there is college recruiting their is an SAT requirement that a lot of guys don't meet and then they getting totally dropped as well. I think the NBA recruiting is problem within a greater national problem that the US and the african-american community is facing right now.
Sorry that was long, tell me if you have any more questions about that.

thanks for responding, guys!

Yes, Rafie, it's a date. And while I agree there will be a bizarre argument/drinking/fight afterwards, I know that there will be a great friendship immediately after. I also liked, Tosin, what your brother said, it was actually very poignant. I would really love to write some more right now, as this is very interesting to me, but I'm somewhat tipsy as we've just celebrated the 4th of July on the 2nd. Don't bother asking. Happy independance day!

yeah, i used to fight more

fyi i guess:

my friend matt and i beat the shit out of each other one night at my friend andy's house. we were both pretty blazed and enibriated. we fought for a solid twenty minutes with the only rule bieng that there would be no face blows. however when you are drunkhigh the fist is subject to give mere approximations to the target figure in front of it. mind you, this was at night in a backyard in the middle of winter. andy actually videotaped the thing which is funny because we saw the tape the next morning and there are parts where the images black out and all you can hear are the different sound of the blows. chest hit sound different from spine jabs which sound different from uppercuts to the ribs which sound different from clavicle taps and the occasional accidental head blow. this is the shit you learn when the videotaper (a drunk andy) messed up the visual. we called the fight a draw which i would be the first to tell you it was not. sure we were both sore as fuck for a week but he had me 55-45. he is bigger adn stronger. i accidently hit him in the face and gave him a black eye; and i managed to give him a black ear too, yeah it's possible. since that fight, we have been much better friends.

i also fought andy that night, but i beat him in 7 seconds. we counted. he claims that i hit him while he was down but i assure you that is simply not true.

gah, juior year we used to drink and fight in school all the time. well, we had this thinkg called 'fracas' where we would beat the shit out of each other in the halls. teachers would hear the vertebrae hit the lockers and chase us out. we started out on the 4th floor and ended up in the basement gym. we had a good ten-fifteent guys going at it at a time. we would get back to class all disheveled and winded from running from teachers. this year i stuck to underground newspapers rather than underground fighting networks mainly out of circumstance though, because i would have been down for another year of fracas.

BUT, i am a pacifist. and keegan, will you go see moore's film with me? they should hav eit at cornell. i think there'd be no better duo to see that movie. sure we'd argue for twenty hours then we'd down some cold ones and fight afterwards...so is it a date?

i hope all are well and not fighting so much.

On fighting

Well Keegan, while I have had some friendly fights in my time, but i can't say i've been beaten till i couldn't stand. I do find some fun in play fighting with buddies, but i'm too much of a laughing person to get into serious fighting. But, i do know people who like to fight. Usually with very little hard feeling afterwards. So it's normal, but i don't know. I guess for as long as you're not hurting anyone without their consent, its a great tension reliever.
Funny, my baby bro is reading this right now, and he says "why do you have to fight?" But i think his notion of a fight is always sinister. It's interesting how words can have connotations that change with age.
That's enough of rambling from me.

Fighting

Welcome, first of all, to Alexis, it's good to have you on the Blog. I also have a question I wanted to ask you. I remember you saying that you felt much Rap music from the "ghetto" was detrimental to what your family has been working towards, that is to say an America completely free of racial profiling. My question is this: Do you feel that the increase in black High School students being drafted by the NBA is also detrimental? Because it seems to me that it is continuating the "uneducated black hood" belief held by too many people.

Now on to the subject...

Honestly, who on this Blog has been in a fight? A real fight, you know, where physical blows are struck. Because Linda started me thinking about war, but that involves fighting obviously, and I just read an article about these prestigious German Dueling clubs, and it got me reminiscing about the good old days when my friend and I would fight each other in the basements of apartments buildings, and just fight until we could barely stand. I was just curious about what you all thought about fights, both friendly and angry, because the truth is I kind of like them. There's something about it that I love. well, I've got to get going...but I'd like to hear from someone, because it's a very strange thing, a fight. I miss them somewhat.